Ep37: FMSP

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The title is a coded reference to one of Juan's favorite "pick up lines." "FMSP" is NSFW!

Spooky stories are told. Suggestive text messages are sent and read aloud. Cookies are baked, and rebaked. Here are some things that may or may not have anything to do with this episode:

Mary Lynn Raskjub

Michelle Williams after being stuffed into her locker by her best friends

A more squished Rene Zellwegger

MORANIS!!!


Music by Bryan Den Hartog

Ep36: Juaning Time Station

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There is a place in Hell, written about by Dante, past the city of Dis and the wood of suicides, but not quite all the way to those bolgias (if you get to the lake of excrement you've gone too far) where the most horrendous of punishments are meted out to those deserving: the line cutters, the movie-theater-non-legmovers, the zoo-animal-taunters. And they say that if you swim to the bottom of the deepest lake and listen very carefully, you can hear the screams of the tortured souls and the baleful chum chum chumming of their master. This level of the abyss is called Juaning Time Station, and its keeper is Juan the Pain Train.

Also, The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest!


**UPDATE** Mark and Juan's New Yorker Caption was actually selected by the New Yorker as the winner of this week's cartoon caption contest! Click here to see it on the actual New Yorker site!



All Too Easy.


Music by Bryan Den Hartog.

Ep35: Henry's Dream

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An All-You-Can-Hear-Buffet for your ears, we listen to something gross, then a song, then a debate, and a reenactment. The minutes of last weeks meeting are reviewed, and we go several levels of psychs deep.

The Barefoot Bandit:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100711/ap_on_re_la_am_ca/cb_bahamas_teen_fugitive

A picture of Mark in his "cool" new hat:




Henry's Dream, for those who like to read along:

i had the weirdest dream
about bill murray
me robin ed and megan were at an internet cafe
and bill murray was there
me: nice
was he eating there or was he your server?
Henry: well he was like
hey guys!
oh man guys come meet my friend!
so we were like ok
and we go to this skyscraper roof
where these two hot girls are and this like blonde kid
and he's like oh yeah thats my friend over there and he's pointing at the blonde kid
and so we're talking to the blonde kid and the kid says
"what...what the fuck why did you bring fucking bill murray up here!'
and he said that bill murray was descended from "squishies
and then he was like squieshes",...you know PUSSIES
and he was like get the fuck out of ehre FUCKING BULL
*bill
and bill murray was like "oh sorry i cant here you because of this SOUND barrier
and it was like a physical barrier made from sound
and he was jsut flirting with the two hot girls
and the kid yelled at me
and was like
YOU"VE FUCKING RUINED MY LIFE AGAIN!!!!
and i looked at bill murray and he was impressing the two girls with his engineering prowess
of the sound barrier
and a waterpump
that he had somehow built into the building
and was pumping them glasses full fo water
and then i woke up



And Henry finally got that spice rack up. Now on to the bookshelf!



Music by Bryan Den Hartog

Ep34: Should You Ditch Your Friends?

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In a recording dating way back to July 4th, Mark, Henry, and Bethany talk America's greatest contributions to the world, low voices, interplanetary travel, and answer that lingering question. Special guest appearance by Baby New Mark.

Cranberry Almond Crunch defined

Recent pic of Mark and Henry showing up at a party wearing the same outfit. Baby New Mark no care.

Music by Bryan Den Hartog.

Ep33: The Hottest Man in Hollywood

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Shorter episode this week, but it's very rich. Any more and you might barf.

We pack it in this episode like sodium into a double down, discussing Geniuses, sexting, impression contests, and The Hottest Man in all of Hollywood. Good nights are also said.

Henry's preferred death?



Juan's preferred Sext


Juan's Cousin

LSG

PSH

PBH

NPH

Rufus Sewell

Music by Bryan Den Hartog

Ep32: Chatroulette

Mark Henry and Juan journey into the belly of the beast: chatroulette! This episode is pure Life is Bullshit in that most of the time is spent discussing things that only we can see. Also a one-time-only segment: What animal could beat any other animal in a fight? DON'T say Immortal Jellyfish.




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Photos by Brinker/Garcia, Sketches by Henry:

Detail:

Music by Bryan Den Hartog

Ep31: Do You Know How to Work Your Sex Appeal?

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Mark Henry and Bethany find out the answer to the titular question. We also find out what Sex and the City character we each are, and who Henry's real father is.

"[The Life is Bullshit Podcast] is coming to burn your fucking house down, but you will blow [it] first!"
-Mel Gibson